She totally gets her fashion sense from The Pepsi Guy. I would have never thought to accessorize my "snake boots" with the bow hair band and a white satin "lasso".
You keep up the good work kido!
Showing posts with label The Pepsi Guy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The Pepsi Guy. Show all posts
Aug 4, 2009
Fashion Guru.....
This is what happens when GG suddenly decided that being 3yrs. old meant she should start dressing herself.
She totally gets her fashion sense from The Pepsi Guy. I would have never thought to accessorize my "snake boots" with the bow hair band and a white satin "lasso".
You keep up the good work kido!
She totally gets her fashion sense from The Pepsi Guy. I would have never thought to accessorize my "snake boots" with the bow hair band and a white satin "lasso".
You keep up the good work kido!
Jul 12, 2009
A Green-ish Thumb.....
I only say “green-ish” because I was actually successful at growing some stuff!
Since I've become a stay-at-home mom last fall, I’ve become surprisingly domesticated in more ways then The Pepsi Guy or I ever imagined possible. One of these particular adventures began in the earliest of spring. GG & I decided that we were going to start a vegetable garden. TPG was against the idea from the get go! I’m sure he heavily considered the possibility that this would just be another “project” he would assume the responsibility for……like the cats.
In March, GG & I started with seeds and planted them in one of those indoor things. They grew as expected which only made our new commitment more …... committed. When the weather finally broke….TPG dug up and fertilized our very small plot….or grave site as he refers to it. The 4’X10’ plot was the only allowable space we would give us in “his” back yard. We were finally ready to plant and nurture our new hobby.
I’ll admit that it didn’t look promising that first month or so. I was actually less committed to watering the new garden ……the signs were pretty obvious. We planted 8 regular tomato plants, 8 cherry toe tomato plants, 8 cucumber plants, 4 Watermelon & 4 pumpkin plants. After that first…..rather dry month, we had a few causalities. However, 4 of the regular tomato, 1 cherry toe tomato, 1 watermelon & 1 pumpkin….were all lucky enough to call themselves survivors.
Months have passed, we water on a regular basis and we flourished. I could see that we were going to be proud of our garden when the watermelon & pumpkins started to grow. Well…at least the vines were growing & Growing & GROWING!!!! Then it happened …one day there was fruit! The pumpkins were actually “Ghost” pumpkins and then one of them some how managed to infiltrate into my neighbors yard. He's happily mowing around his new predator. Mostly because he felt bad that largest creation in my garden was now rightfully his….because possession is 9/10 of the law! I guess the grass is always greener on the other side…..and I learned that lesson from a "traitor pumpkin".
Today GG & I were trimming away some of the vines, mostly to help TPG out because they were exceeding the “allowable garden space”. More then once I saw him smile with extreme pleasure as he mowed over the vines because they were on the verge of infiltrating his personal space too. By mistake…..I trimmed one of the watermelons off of the vine. I was a little pissed at first but got over it quickly when I considered the viney mess was completely out of control ….there was bound to be more casualties involved…. And I was thankful GG & I both made it out alive. Besides…it was about time GG got to enjoy “the fruits of her labor”.
Here is GG with our first garden treat of the summer. A delicious watermelon…..look…..it’s obviously a watermelon.....prematurely picked but a watermelon none the less! She was so excited & proud!! Just look at her little future 4H face beaming!
Except.....
What the hell! Oh No! That’s not a watermelon…..it’s a f*cking pumpkin! Seriously folks……a green pumpkin disguised exactly like a watermelon….. and she was PISSED! I’ve never even seen such a site in my entire life. What the hell are we growing out there anyway….some kind of mutant hybrid …water-kins….or pumkmelon? I believe I am competent enough in my skills as a first time gardener to know & understand the difference between a pumpkin & a watermelon.....or at least I thought I was. Boy was I wrong!
I now completely understand the traitor ghost pumpkin after all. He was trying to get the hell out of our mutant garden before it was too late!!! Even pumpkins have a sence of self-preservation too.....at least I did learn that lesson from this fiasco! I’m now wondering what kind of fertilizer TPG used ….. and if anything out there is truly edible.
Oct 20, 2008
Coming to the rescue.....
The Pepsi Guy decided that he wanted to be "Bobby Light" from Rob & Big as his Halloween Costume this year. We have a great party to go to and the costumes really should be excellent from what we've heard so far!
There was no changing his mind about it either.....regardless of my persuasive tactics at encouraging the Bush & Tush ideal!
So, in supporting TPG in his Big Halloween Adventure, I have been asked to go as a "dirty girl". I shit you not! I don't really mind because the costume is actually pretty easy, so you would think. I picked up these gem of a pant at the local thrift store for $1.
Skin thigh leopard print stretch pants. Seriously folks....it doesn't get any trasher then that right there! These pants are such a big hit at my house that I would have possibly paid nearly $2 if I'd known the love they've been shown.
I think TPG has a thing for trashy, dirty girls! GG loves the pants even more the he does....like that's possible! I have to keep these gems hidden from her....because if she even spots a glimpse of them, she'll ask me to put on my "Diego Pants".
I'm glad Halloween is just a few weeks away. I'm afraid that if I have to wear these pants one more time I may have a debilitating limp from the wicked camel toe.
There was no changing his mind about it either.....regardless of my persuasive tactics at encouraging the Bush & Tush ideal!
So, in supporting TPG in his Big Halloween Adventure, I have been asked to go as a "dirty girl". I shit you not! I don't really mind because the costume is actually pretty easy, so you would think. I picked up these gem of a pant at the local thrift store for $1.
Skin thigh leopard print stretch pants. Seriously folks....it doesn't get any trasher then that right there! These pants are such a big hit at my house that I would have possibly paid nearly $2 if I'd known the love they've been shown.I think TPG has a thing for trashy, dirty girls! GG loves the pants even more the he does....like that's possible! I have to keep these gems hidden from her....because if she even spots a glimpse of them, she'll ask me to put on my "Diego Pants".
I'm glad Halloween is just a few weeks away. I'm afraid that if I have to wear these pants one more time I may have a debilitating limp from the wicked camel toe.
Oct 14, 2008
Meet Maggie.....
Maggie Mae "Guru" aka..... Maggie Moose.
"Moose" has been our beloved pet for the past 10 years. She is an old 85lb. hound/coon dog and we've converted her into a city slicker. She still has some of her own breed (whatever that may be) characteristics like incredible super hero smelling powers, insatiable appetite, stubbornness and complete laziness. When someone wants to know how big she is, I'll always tell them " She the size of a 4th Grader".
The Pepsi Guy and I like to joke about how she "lives the life of luxury". Maggie was our very first experiment as being parents. I think we succeeded in giving her a life that most mutts would only dream of. She sleeps most hours of the day in OUR bed, right in between us during the night, she eats diner with us, has a nice big fenced yard that can be accessed at any time and a loving neighbor who showers her with milk bones EVERY TIME she is outside, multiple times a day.
Without a doubt, Maggie is TPG's dog. Their relationship would be sickening to most normal people and probably illegal in all 48 continental states. Our dog will greet TPG at the door with a smile....yeah, she really smiles, and he greets her with lots of hugs & kisses...usually with his mouth open because that's the way she likes it! This same dog won't even get out of bed when I come home from a long day and I practically have to force her out of bed in the morning to pee before I head to work.
GG simply adores Maggie and her name was actually one of GG's first words. Until recently, every dog we ever encountered was called a "Maggie". GG has been using her imagination more & more lately and her favorite game is to "play puppy". It's annoying cute! Unfortunately Maggie doesn't like GG nearly as much. She's actually quite annoyed all the time with this small human who has some how taken over the home she once ruled. Even though Maggie basically tries to ignore GG at all cost, she can't help but love & protect the smallbully child.
It saddens me to think that Maggie will not be with us much longer. She is 10 years old now and I can see how the years have effected her large body. She just isn't as playful and spunky as she was before we brought GG home the hospital. When the day comes for Maggie Moose to pass, TPG & I will be devastated....just as I am *teary* eyed typing it out.
But for now Maggie is alive & well!!! I love this picture of GG & Maggie Moose in the back of my truck.
Look at GG's face!!!! I think Maggie farted and she got a big wiff of it. *Priceless*
Besides introducing you to Maggie, this post has ulterior motives. You see Christmas is just around the corner! I can't think of a single gift to tell Santa Claus that GG would like to have. It's no big secret that she hasn't really been that great and if TPG weren't the Fat Jolly Man himself......she probably just get a few cat turds under the tree with a 1/2 eaten candy cane.
I'm trying, with all thing festive in my heart & soul to convince TPG to let GG get a puppy for Christmas. She is the perfect age for a tiny little buddy to frolic under her feet, while running through flowering meadows in the Spring time. Can you see it? I can almost smell the flowers now! But TPG is a stubborn old goon....and he doesn't see it, or let alone smell it! *JERK* He's afraid that he'll betray Maggie and she'll live her last moments as a bitter old hag and that he'll be to blame for her misery. I told him to blame me because she doesn't even like anyway!! I told him that a puppy may be what Maggie need to get her grove back...Stella Style! I'm still working on him & I may need to bust out the reinforcements..... like lingerie or Grand Parents.
In the mean time.....do you guys have any kid friendly breed suggestion? Or stories of your own beloved pets that are aging or have passed away?
"Moose" has been our beloved pet for the past 10 years. She is an old 85lb. hound/coon dog and we've converted her into a city slicker. She still has some of her own breed (whatever that may be) characteristics like incredible super hero smelling powers, insatiable appetite, stubbornness and complete laziness. When someone wants to know how big she is, I'll always tell them " She the size of a 4th Grader".
The Pepsi Guy and I like to joke about how she "lives the life of luxury". Maggie was our very first experiment as being parents. I think we succeeded in giving her a life that most mutts would only dream of. She sleeps most hours of the day in OUR bed, right in between us during the night, she eats diner with us, has a nice big fenced yard that can be accessed at any time and a loving neighbor who showers her with milk bones EVERY TIME she is outside, multiple times a day.
Without a doubt, Maggie is TPG's dog. Their relationship would be sickening to most normal people and probably illegal in all 48 continental states. Our dog will greet TPG at the door with a smile....yeah, she really smiles, and he greets her with lots of hugs & kisses...usually with his mouth open because that's the way she likes it! This same dog won't even get out of bed when I come home from a long day and I practically have to force her out of bed in the morning to pee before I head to work.
GG simply adores Maggie and her name was actually one of GG's first words. Until recently, every dog we ever encountered was called a "Maggie". GG has been using her imagination more & more lately and her favorite game is to "play puppy". It's annoying cute! Unfortunately Maggie doesn't like GG nearly as much. She's actually quite annoyed all the time with this small human who has some how taken over the home she once ruled. Even though Maggie basically tries to ignore GG at all cost, she can't help but love & protect the small
It saddens me to think that Maggie will not be with us much longer. She is 10 years old now and I can see how the years have effected her large body. She just isn't as playful and spunky as she was before we brought GG home the hospital. When the day comes for Maggie Moose to pass, TPG & I will be devastated....just as I am *teary* eyed typing it out.
But for now Maggie is alive & well!!! I love this picture of GG & Maggie Moose in the back of my truck.
Look at GG's face!!!! I think Maggie farted and she got a big wiff of it. *Priceless*Besides introducing you to Maggie, this post has ulterior motives. You see Christmas is just around the corner! I can't think of a single gift to tell Santa Claus that GG would like to have. It's no big secret that she hasn't really been that great and if TPG weren't the Fat Jolly Man himself......she probably just get a few cat turds under the tree with a 1/2 eaten candy cane.
I'm trying, with all thing festive in my heart & soul to convince TPG to let GG get a puppy for Christmas. She is the perfect age for a tiny little buddy to frolic under her feet, while running through flowering meadows in the Spring time. Can you see it? I can almost smell the flowers now! But TPG is a stubborn old goon....and he doesn't see it, or let alone smell it! *JERK* He's afraid that he'll betray Maggie and she'll live her last moments as a bitter old hag and that he'll be to blame for her misery. I told him to blame me because she doesn't even like anyway!! I told him that a puppy may be what Maggie need to get her grove back...Stella Style! I'm still working on him & I may need to bust out the reinforcements..... like lingerie or Grand Parents.
In the mean time.....do you guys have any kid friendly breed suggestion? Or stories of your own beloved pets that are aging or have passed away?
Sep 5, 2008
I mean it.....
I have started to notice more and more that every thing TPG & I say is now being repeated by GG. I knew this day would come, it just came FASTER then we expected.
Apparently, I often say the following phrases:
The Pepsi Guy's vocabulary is a bit more graphic to say the least, especially while on the telephone with his "boyfriends". I have often asked him to watch the uses of his expletive vocabulary in front of GG. He would catch himself after the fact and I would give him the look.
Last week while cruising through the drive thru, TPG was rather anxious and loudly proclaimed "Move up Bitch". Moments later from the back seat.....guess what we heard in Slow Motion. Our hearts stopped beating for what seems like an eternity as our sweet little girl proudly announces "M O V E- I T- B I S H" (that's the reenactment in slow motion). After the awkward moment of silence and The Look, I asked TPG if he were proud of himself. I shamed him by explaining how the innocence of our sweet child is now gone.....GONE FOREVER!
It's obvious that my hard tactics have made an improvement, at least I like to think so. However, I truly know that for TPG to hear GG's profane laced potty mouth has really made an impact on his daily life. He now uses words like shoot, heck, darn and my personal favorite .... stinken!
So.....great job TPG! Keep up the good work you .... C*@k S*%&ing S@n *f @ B*%#$@H! I'm STINKEN proud of you!
Apparently, I often say the following phrases:
- I mean it
- I see you
- Listen to me
- Oh Boy!
The Pepsi Guy's vocabulary is a bit more graphic to say the least, especially while on the telephone with his "boyfriends". I have often asked him to watch the uses of his expletive vocabulary in front of GG. He would catch himself after the fact and I would give him the look.
Last week while cruising through the drive thru, TPG was rather anxious and loudly proclaimed "Move up Bitch". Moments later from the back seat.....guess what we heard in Slow Motion. Our hearts stopped beating for what seems like an eternity as our sweet little girl proudly announces "M O V E- I T- B I S H" (that's the reenactment in slow motion). After the awkward moment of silence and The Look, I asked TPG if he were proud of himself. I shamed him by explaining how the innocence of our sweet child is now gone.....GONE FOREVER!
It's obvious that my hard tactics have made an improvement, at least I like to think so. However, I truly know that for TPG to hear GG's profane laced potty mouth has really made an impact on his daily life. He now uses words like shoot, heck, darn and my personal favorite .... stinken!
So.....great job TPG! Keep up the good work you .... C*@k S*%&ing S@n *f @ B*%#$@H! I'm STINKEN proud of you!
Aug 28, 2008
It's that time of year...again
WHO DEY BITCHES!!!!!!
The Cincinnati Bengals 2008-2009 Football Season is set to begin on Sunday September 7th. Normally I wouldn't really give two shits about our beloved hometown hero's but this year....everything is different! TPG had the chance to buy season tickets due to the financial hardship of a friend.....of a friend. So we rallied the troops to gather the funds in order to get our fall football fix. However, things didn't exactly work out as planned so TPG just bought the whole damn season himself! Here's the good.....GREAT part! Being the budget savvy, entrepreneur he is....he managed to sell 6 of the 8 games he had no interest in attending ..... for a profit, while still keeping the 2 games we wanted for FREE! YEAH! FREE BENGAL TICKETS.......it's really the only way you're going to get me there anyway......FREE!!!!
Some how I also managed to get a verbal commitment from TPG to buy me some cute Ben-Gal gear for our two games. It's more contingent on him getting all of his money back and as a thank you for not killing him when he committed to buying the tickets before telling me! Besides, he didn't want me to be the only fair weather fan to wear something ridiculous ...like a clown wig....while sitting next to him in the stands.
Tonight is our final pre-season game against the Indianapolis Colts. Sorry "Crawley" but I pretty much hate the Colts any time they play the Bengals but other then that.....Peyton Manning is pretty cool and I do like his television commercials. I am strangely excited about this game tonight, even though Carson Palmer isn't playing. Maybe we'll really see how good of a team we have this year. It's probably a good thing that I'm very forgiving and pretty easy to please.
Aug 1, 2008
Some things never change but the memories just get funnier .....
A 10 year Class Reunion Story......
I know I've mentioned it several times but have yet to blog about it in detail.
The Guru's
You see, I'm the type pf person who will be extremely pissed off for 2 hours and then move on to something else that's a complete waste of my time. Unlike TPG who is absolutely the biggest grudge holder I know..... besides his mother, I know he gets it honest! Just last week at his 10 year class reunion, he pointed out a girl, now a woman, and stated "I hate that bitch, she flicked a booger on me in 2nd grade & I still hate her!". I couldn't help but laugh...out loud....for several minutes. I found it to be so funny because I know he will take that memory to his grave and never forgive his 2nd grade booger flicking nemeses.
L-R: Schiavone, Brown, The Pepsi Guy, Dickhead
I know I've mentioned it several times but have yet to blog about it in detail.
Middletown High School Class of 1998 Ten Year Class Reunion
The Guru'sOften imitated. Never duplicated!
You see, I'm the type pf person who will be extremely pissed off for 2 hours and then move on to something else that's a complete waste of my time. Unlike TPG who is absolutely the biggest grudge holder I know..... besides his mother, I know he gets it honest! Just last week at his 10 year class reunion, he pointed out a girl, now a woman, and stated "I hate that bitch, she flicked a booger on me in 2nd grade & I still hate her!". I couldn't help but laugh...out loud....for several minutes. I found it to be so funny because I know he will take that memory to his grave and never forgive his 2nd grade booger flicking nemeses.
L-R: Schiavone, Brown, The Pepsi Guy, DickheadI myself am a Lemon-Monroe Class of '96 Alumni, which is the smaller "sister school" and a big rivalry to TPG's high school. I didn't go to my 10 year class reunion because I delivered GG on a Thursday and the gathering was on Saturday. I guess I wasn't feeling on top of game nor could I fit into my senior year prom gown! So you can probably tell I wasn't really looking forward to this particular event.
I told some friends of ours, who are on the reunion committee (see pic below "doing their own thing"), of my plans to raise a bunch of hell at the country club considering I was a "Monroe Girl". I've dated TPG every day for over 10 years. That's a very long time considering I was a sophomore in college and he was a senior in high school. During that time we've met and befriended many if each others old friends and even some past lovers. We planned to attend the event with "Dickhead" and his GF who we'll call "Katie Perry" (long story but she wanted to kiss me like 1,312 times when I met her & I just so happened to be wearing cherry chap stick.) The evening went well, the food was great, the drinks were expensive, the music was nostalgic and the conversations were ..... mostly lame. I even ran into several other LMHS alumni but our hell raising was kept to a minimal!
LMHS 1996 Alumni
Kimmguru, looking like I need to eat a sandwich & Alan G. We were actually really good friends in high school. weed = friends 4 ever, apparently)
Come to find out TPG was kind of the secret crush for most of the "popular" girls. He was kind of the bad boy, didn't give a damn, causing trouble-didn't get caught, athletic, smart hot guy. Don't get me wrong! I think TPG is very handsome & I love him dearly but to see & hear stories of "The Prom Queen" and "Cheerleading Captain" gushing over him was fucking hilarious! Apparently one dateless chic missed the fact that he was MARRIED and was trying to break his neck on the dance floor. I was LMAO as he was trying to escape her grasp to no avail. I finally decided to rescue him after his man-handling and he was more then thankful but unfortunately, his predator took a seat and watched a real woman work her man on the dance floor!
The chic with the purple bag is searching for her prey. Someone should have warned TPG!
Which one of these kids is doing their own thing? Which on of this kids is not like the other?
Dickhead & KP ended up fighting 1/2 the time but fortunately made up again in the ladies restroom. No lie, I'm pissing way another one of my 12 cherry vodka & 7ups (so he tells me) and low & behold I see feet, as in 2 pair of feet in the stall next to me! I was cracking up & trying not to piss on kick ass shoes. I couldn't wait to run out & tell KP and then I discoverd it WAS KATIE PERRY & DICKHEAD. Okay, seriously...who does that shit! I had to tell someone and since it was about the SOMEONE I wanted to tell ...... I told the chic with the sunglasses (see man-handled pic) on instead. We ended up taking a picture of their feet in the stall & blackmailing them later in the evening for more drinks at the bar we closed down. Our evening ended with a 4am skinny dip at a friends house and of course ...... another fight between DH & KP. All in all it was a great time, no one puked, we had a DD for the evening and the hangover was minimal.
I told some friends of ours, who are on the reunion committee (see pic below "doing their own thing"), of my plans to raise a bunch of hell at the country club considering I was a "Monroe Girl". I've dated TPG every day for over 10 years. That's a very long time considering I was a sophomore in college and he was a senior in high school. During that time we've met and befriended many if each others old friends and even some past lovers. We planned to attend the event with "Dickhead" and his GF who we'll call "Katie Perry" (long story but she wanted to kiss me like 1,312 times when I met her & I just so happened to be wearing cherry chap stick.) The evening went well, the food was great, the drinks were expensive, the music was nostalgic and the conversations were ..... mostly lame. I even ran into several other LMHS alumni but our hell raising was kept to a minimal!
LMHS 1996 AlumniKimmguru, looking like I need to eat a sandwich & Alan G. We were actually really good friends in high school. weed = friends 4 ever, apparently)
Come to find out TPG was kind of the secret crush for most of the "popular" girls. He was kind of the bad boy, didn't give a damn, causing trouble-didn't get caught, athletic, smart hot guy. Don't get me wrong! I think TPG is very handsome & I love him dearly but to see & hear stories of "The Prom Queen" and "Cheerleading Captain" gushing over him was fucking hilarious! Apparently one dateless chic missed the fact that he was MARRIED and was trying to break his neck on the dance floor. I was LMAO as he was trying to escape her grasp to no avail. I finally decided to rescue him after his man-handling and he was more then thankful but unfortunately, his predator took a seat and watched a real woman work her man on the dance floor!
The chic with the purple bag is searching for her prey. Someone should have warned TPG! 
Which one of these kids is doing their own thing? Which on of this kids is not like the other?Dickhead & KP ended up fighting 1/2 the time but fortunately made up again in the ladies restroom. No lie, I'm pissing way another one of my 12 cherry vodka & 7ups (so he tells me) and low & behold I see feet, as in 2 pair of feet in the stall next to me! I was cracking up & trying not to piss on kick ass shoes. I couldn't wait to run out & tell KP and then I discoverd it WAS KATIE PERRY & DICKHEAD. Okay, seriously...who does that shit! I had to tell someone and since it was about the SOMEONE I wanted to tell ...... I told the chic with the sunglasses (see man-handled pic) on instead. We ended up taking a picture of their feet in the stall & blackmailing them later in the evening for more drinks at the bar we closed down. Our evening ended with a 4am skinny dip at a friends house and of course ...... another fight between DH & KP. All in all it was a great time, no one puked, we had a DD for the evening and the hangover was minimal.
Jul 31, 2008
Here's to you "DUE" my future Son-In-Law
TPG and I are getting our new mobile phone today. I spent most of my yesterday "working" and downloading a lot of my pics from the phone to my photobook account. It was nostalgic looking back over the past 2 years of memories in GG's life. Then there was this little shit-head boy in a lot of my pics. His name is Drew and he's my future Son-In-Law. His father is TPG best friend since they were 4 years old. Those two are as "thick as thieves" someone one said and now we are raising our children together.
Drew's father we'll call "Dickhead" because he was a drunken asshole at their class reunion this past weekend, is a single father. It's hard to be a single parent these days & Dickhead doing well, as well as can be expected! We spend a lot of time with them and GG & Drew are big buddies. In the past few weeks Drew has been fascinated with showing everyone his wiener. GG is no exception but when she saw his little mini she gave him a very disappointed "raspberry" and continued on playing. It was hysterical....but I know one day she may actually be giving that thing "raspberries". I always mess with the children's fathers but telling them that one day "those two are going to have sex". For some reason, it's just not as funny to then as it is to me!
So here's a few of the photo's of Drew & GG. One day we'll all look back & I'll say...... "I told you my she was going to marry a dickhead"!
And finally, here is The Pepsi Guy and Dickhead. Still together after 24 years!
(L-Thick, R-Thief)
Drew's father we'll call "Dickhead" because he was a drunken asshole at their class reunion this past weekend, is a single father. It's hard to be a single parent these days & Dickhead doing well, as well as can be expected! We spend a lot of time with them and GG & Drew are big buddies. In the past few weeks Drew has been fascinated with showing everyone his wiener. GG is no exception but when she saw his little mini she gave him a very disappointed "raspberry" and continued on playing. It was hysterical....but I know one day she may actually be giving that thing "raspberries". I always mess with the children's fathers but telling them that one day "those two are going to have sex". For some reason, it's just not as funny to then as it is to me!
So here's a few of the photo's of Drew & GG. One day we'll all look back & I'll say...... "I told you my she was going to marry a dickhead"!
And finally, here is The Pepsi Guy and Dickhead. Still together after 24 years!
(L-Thick, R-Thief)Jul 29, 2008
Who wears the pants around here .....
They may be slightly larger and longer but they are definitely MY PANTS!!!!
* I can only say this because TPG doesn't read my blog*
Isn't it fun to play the game with your significant other ..... you know the game where "they think their making all the decisions but you conscientiously PERSUADE them to your way of thinking & they don't even know it"? We just recently started playing this game because the other game of "let me ask your opinion and then ultimately choose the opposite of what you said" got old & he finally caught on!
As you already know, we had a little mishap regarding GG trying to give our love seat a "perm". (thanks Malea). The few days prior to the purchase of new furniture, TPG had began to show of obvious signs of OCD. I began to notice how he could no longer pass the tarnished furnishing without stopping to take a closer look, reminding GG that what she had done wasn't nice and how now it's very ugly. I had to put an end to his misery when GG began to pick up his newest traits. I think her theatrical performance of "Oh no Ma'ma look. Nasty! UGLY! I did it!" was some what rehearsed but well worth his time.
Our Elder Beerman shopping experience was nothing short of hysterical. We briefly searched a few other locations but ended up with a final purchase of a brand spanking new living room suit from Value City Furniture. However they should seriously consider a name change to "City Furniture" because the Value as in PRICE wasn't any better then most places. We were drawn in by the larger selection and 1/2 price clearance signs in the window (so he thinks) but as you know we were headed there all along (because I said so). It was so wonderful to see TPG and GG hand in hand walking down every isle and testing out their potential purchase. GG ran from sofa to sofa bouncing from chair to love seat "testing the durability" I told the salesman, wearing herself out for a nap I secretly hoped.
TPG had his heart set & mind made up on a on a new sectional and love seat combo in the light tan, excuse me "Cobblestone" color. Even though we found several items we really loved, very few of them would have actually worked in the awkward space of the living room. However, I secretly persuaded him to look at the 3 piece suit I fell in love with immediately. He wasn't quite sold at first but we ended up purchasing "MY" choice in "Sage" to say the least. It has a pretty awesome corduroy microfiber textile. I'm not a fan of the traditional microfiber look because it shows EVERY SINGLE STAIN. In good measure, we also purchased the 7 year scotch guard warranty ...... which actually does cover "Couch Perming" because I definitely asked and believe it or not "Piss". Human or Animal bodily secretions are completely covered for 7 years. No questions asked....because sometime it's better if you just don't ask questions! The warranty is well worth the money spent because GG is more naked then ever with our potty training adventures and she has a lot of child-size orphases that bodily secretions seep out of! So I have at LEAST 7 years to get her potty trained and the other leaks fixed ..... SWEET!
Our new living room suit is being delivered on Thursday. Considering it's one of few real adult NEW furniture purchase, we went all out with the home delivery & warranty crap. We're such armatures!
So, Thank You GG for ruining our other furniture. I just wanted to let you know that one day you'll be able to take our new living room suit off to college with you ...... since we used most of your savings to pay for it! Just kidding! We told her that in hopes that she wouldn't ruin it ....at least right away ..... but she just stared at us blankly while picking her nose. It's must have been quite the winner too!!!
* I can only say this because TPG doesn't read my blog*
Isn't it fun to play the game with your significant other ..... you know the game where "they think their making all the decisions but you conscientiously PERSUADE them to your way of thinking & they don't even know it"? We just recently started playing this game because the other game of "let me ask your opinion and then ultimately choose the opposite of what you said" got old & he finally caught on!
As you already know, we had a little mishap regarding GG trying to give our love seat a "perm". (thanks Malea). The few days prior to the purchase of new furniture, TPG had began to show of obvious signs of OCD. I began to notice how he could no longer pass the tarnished furnishing without stopping to take a closer look, reminding GG that what she had done wasn't nice and how now it's very ugly. I had to put an end to his misery when GG began to pick up his newest traits. I think her theatrical performance of "Oh no Ma'ma look. Nasty! UGLY! I did it!" was some what rehearsed but well worth his time.
Our Elder Beerman shopping experience was nothing short of hysterical. We briefly searched a few other locations but ended up with a final purchase of a brand spanking new living room suit from Value City Furniture. However they should seriously consider a name change to "City Furniture" because the Value as in PRICE wasn't any better then most places. We were drawn in by the larger selection and 1/2 price clearance signs in the window (so he thinks) but as you know we were headed there all along (because I said so). It was so wonderful to see TPG and GG hand in hand walking down every isle and testing out their potential purchase. GG ran from sofa to sofa bouncing from chair to love seat "testing the durability" I told the salesman, wearing herself out for a nap I secretly hoped.
TPG had his heart set & mind made up on a on a new sectional and love seat combo in the light tan, excuse me "Cobblestone" color. Even though we found several items we really loved, very few of them would have actually worked in the awkward space of the living room. However, I secretly persuaded him to look at the 3 piece suit I fell in love with immediately. He wasn't quite sold at first but we ended up purchasing "MY" choice in "Sage" to say the least. It has a pretty awesome corduroy microfiber textile. I'm not a fan of the traditional microfiber look because it shows EVERY SINGLE STAIN. In good measure, we also purchased the 7 year scotch guard warranty ...... which actually does cover "Couch Perming" because I definitely asked and believe it or not "Piss". Human or Animal bodily secretions are completely covered for 7 years. No questions asked....because sometime it's better if you just don't ask questions! The warranty is well worth the money spent because GG is more naked then ever with our potty training adventures and she has a lot of child-size orphases that bodily secretions seep out of! So I have at LEAST 7 years to get her potty trained and the other leaks fixed ..... SWEET!
Our new living room suit is being delivered on Thursday. Considering it's one of few real adult NEW furniture purchase, we went all out with the home delivery & warranty crap. We're such armatures!
So here it is, pictured without the love seat and a glass coffee table that we didn't purchase. We went for a more kid friendly one instead.
So, Thank You GG for ruining our other furniture. I just wanted to let you know that one day you'll be able to take our new living room suit off to college with you ...... since we used most of your savings to pay for it! Just kidding! We told her that in hopes that she wouldn't ruin it ....at least right away ..... but she just stared at us blankly while picking her nose. It's must have been quite the winner too!!!
Jul 25, 2008
This post is completely random .....
GG has been showing signs that she is ready to start toilet training. I have really tried to put off the whole "potty training" game with her because of our bathroom situation. Now, it looks like I have no choice in the matter! She will be having her 2nd birthday on August 3rd and many people tell me it's okay to start playing with the idea if she is "mature" enough. I think that's funny .... a "mature 2 yr. old". Last night she was "playing" in the playroom when she decided to remove her diaper and proceed to poop on the floor. Because she is so kind she decided to yell "Ma'ma come wook" I stalled a few moments before walking into my wonderful surprise. GG looks at me and says "So nasty, clean it". I couldn't help but laugh because it was pretty damn funny. That is until I had to clean it.
Now this isn't the first time we've had this issue. Just last week, when I came home from work, TPG was "napping" on the couch ..... which he does a lot. He claims that GG was "napping" next to him and must have awaken with him noticing. In all of her unsupervised glory, she removed her diaper and pooped once again in her playroom, except this time smearing it all over the glass window to the door. It was an easy clean up but still very nasty & very stinky. When I found my poop covered & smeared baby she was sitting naked in her hair chair and sniffing her pooped stained fingers repeating "nasty....stinky....nasty" over & over again. It was as though she was traumatized by her smearing event, which may be why it only happened the one time.
With perfect timing to my stressful situation, Sweetened*Taters posted these potty training tips for those of us about to begin our journey.
Does anyone else have any helpful tips that may have worked for you? Wish us luck, sounds like we're going to need it!
On another final note.
This is GG after she found a jar Vicks Medicated Vapor Rub from a location that I was unaware it had been stored. Amazed that she actually got the lid off, she decided to try this rub out as a new hair styling product. Apparently, it was too "nasty" on her fingers so she decided to wipe the mess all over the microfiber love seat & coffee table ...... because they were conveniently close. She walked around for a few hours sniffing her newly opened sinuses and convincingly claimed"mmm good" as if she were really enjoying the mentholyptus smell that she couldn't escape.
We're now looking to investing in a new living room suit. TPG had me looking at Elder Beermans furniture department this week because they were having a "Big Sale". I laughed the entire time thinking I could pay off my student loans with these prices. I, of all people, was encouraging him to shop at Value City or even Big Lots in search of new furniture .......just hoping that it might last long enough to pass my bill in Congress allowing parents to "beat your children and not be punished by law if you have documented proof" (see above).
Now this isn't the first time we've had this issue. Just last week, when I came home from work, TPG was "napping" on the couch ..... which he does a lot. He claims that GG was "napping" next to him and must have awaken with him noticing. In all of her unsupervised glory, she removed her diaper and pooped once again in her playroom, except this time smearing it all over the glass window to the door. It was an easy clean up but still very nasty & very stinky. When I found my poop covered & smeared baby she was sitting naked in her hair chair and sniffing her pooped stained fingers repeating "nasty....stinky....nasty" over & over again. It was as though she was traumatized by her smearing event, which may be why it only happened the one time.
With perfect timing to my stressful situation, Sweetened*Taters posted these potty training tips for those of us about to begin our journey.
Does anyone else have any helpful tips that may have worked for you? Wish us luck, sounds like we're going to need it!
On another final note.
This is what happens when Ma'ma is away and TPG is "napping" on the couch.
Like I said, it happens a lot.
Like I said, it happens a lot.
This is GG after she found a jar Vicks Medicated Vapor Rub from a location that I was unaware it had been stored. Amazed that she actually got the lid off, she decided to try this rub out as a new hair styling product. Apparently, it was too "nasty" on her fingers so she decided to wipe the mess all over the microfiber love seat & coffee table ...... because they were conveniently close. She walked around for a few hours sniffing her newly opened sinuses and convincingly claimed"mmm good" as if she were really enjoying the mentholyptus smell that she couldn't escape.
We're now looking to investing in a new living room suit. TPG had me looking at Elder Beermans furniture department this week because they were having a "Big Sale". I laughed the entire time thinking I could pay off my student loans with these prices. I, of all people, was encouraging him to shop at Value City or even Big Lots in search of new furniture .......just hoping that it might last long enough to pass my bill in Congress allowing parents to "beat your children and not be punished by law if you have documented proof" (see above).
Jul 24, 2008
Going Green'ish for some Green Backs.....
I have the hardest time with saying I'm going to do something & then actually following thought with real action. I believe that's why I truly am a "Procrastinating Perfectionist".
Since I stared blogging again, I've been reading a lot of blogs written by stay at home moms. I am also completely convinced that all bloggers fall under this category, with me as the exception. This is only because I blog while I'm at "work" and they pay me to do so....they just don't know it. A lot of the blogs I read are about surviving on a single income and making the most of the money they do have. I have started to take interest in this subject even thought we are not limited to a single income, but one day I may consider it. You see I like to work, use my brain, talk to people and have a productive adult life outside the home. I never pictured myself as the Stay-At-Home type. I mean I paid/still paying a lot of money for a college education and to think that it's all wasted money kind of bothers me.... but that's a personal opinion.
I decided to start changing the way I do things. Small changes of course. Some of these things actually make no sense to me right now but I hope in the long run I can see a difference with positive results. A few of my first resolves are listed below with detailed steps in how I plan to achieve them.
Since I stared blogging again, I've been reading a lot of blogs written by stay at home moms. I am also completely convinced that all bloggers fall under this category, with me as the exception. This is only because I blog while I'm at "work" and they pay me to do so....they just don't know it. A lot of the blogs I read are about surviving on a single income and making the most of the money they do have. I have started to take interest in this subject even thought we are not limited to a single income, but one day I may consider it. You see I like to work, use my brain, talk to people and have a productive adult life outside the home. I never pictured myself as the Stay-At-Home type. I mean I paid/still paying a lot of money for a college education and to think that it's all wasted money kind of bothers me.... but that's a personal opinion.
I decided to start changing the way I do things. Small changes of course. Some of these things actually make no sense to me right now but I hope in the long run I can see a difference with positive results. A few of my first resolves are listed below with detailed steps in how I plan to achieve them.
- Clipping Coupons - TPG does 100% of our grocery shopping and 99% of our cooking, and we eat at home A LOT! He actually despises taking GG & I to the grocery store with him because our bill almost doubles and we buy a lot of things that go unused or simply wasted. Today I subscribed to our local paper in order to get the Sunday advertisements and as long as I save $25 in the next 13 weeks, it was a pretty good idea. I plan to clip coupons for the items we already shop for at the local stores we already shop at. I know TPG doesn't want to be bothered with the task of coupons at the grocery so I'm planning on helping him by creating my famous "list" before going and sticking to it while we're there. I think we can really save a lot a money in trying something new like this.
- Free Grabber - I found this website on another blog and it instantly "grabbed" my attention. What a great way to get coupons and try new products for free. I've already signed up to get many free samples and you get to pick only the ones you're really interested in. I'll keep you posted on how this goes but you really should check it out for yourself.
- Save My Money - The only reason I truly have to work full time is because......I can't believe I'm actually saying it...... OUT LOUD ....... but I addicted to spend money. TPG and I still operate on separate bank accounts. Mostly because of this reason and how I feel that as long as I work that I should be in charge of my own finances. Now don't get me wrong, we do have several joint accounts that we both contribute funds that pay our household expenses. I used to call this "fun money" but I recently renamed it "the pot we both piss in". TPG is amazing with his his money and for that I am so thankful! It's just something I don't even have to worry about and it's a good feeling. That's how we compliment each other and never fight over money. He covers a large part of household expenses and I cover mine & GG's expenses. That kid cost me a fortune for the record. I know I could do better at pissing more into my personal pot and I'm challenging myself to do this.
- Going Green...or at least "Green'ish" - Going Green is such a commitment! I want to start doing a few easy things like recycling. We have a lot soda cans because.....well come on....... I am married to The Pepsi Guy and all, so disposing of my cans properly while making a nickel or two sounds like a win-win for everyone. I also think recycling the newspaper I just subscribed to would be a good idea. I can already hear him bitching about the paper laying all over the house after I clip the coupons & GG gets a hold of it!
Jul 23, 2008
Let the count down BEGIN .....
Baby making season is just around the corner.
Consider this your Public Service Announcement.
I may have mentioned in an earlier post how the time has now come for the Guru's to spread our evil seed and once again reproduce. Yeah, as if GG wasn't enough evil offspring for this world.....we have chosen to offer you ..... yet another.
The Pepsi Guy & I have recently become aware that not every one plans out the pregnancies using such tools available like ovulation calendars, the internet or what ever else people plan with. You mean to tell me that people just get pregnant with out even trying.... or planning?!?!?! Okay, that's a joke but the reaction to planning such an event is often the same.
I like to make list, follow schedules, be prepared and these things alone take up a large part of my day but most importantly, they make happy. I'm also 30 now & I've waited long enough to do the family thing and I'm less likely to stall longer if I "add it to my list".
While we planned our pregnancy with GG, we used the ovulation calendar and experienced conception our first month of trying. We planned almost exactly when we wanted to have a baby & then she popped out & we were prepared because we planned. TPG & I both felt strongly about waiting until she was 2 yrs. old before we planned for a second child. Now, because GG can be and usually is such an asshole, I have reconsidered this thought many times. It just so happens to be that I am extremely fertile the weekend of her birthday, which is only days away. We have come to the conclusion that #2 has to be laid back and mellow or else it will be the death of me...... or God really hates me for having more children because one on them will probably be a theorist or something.
TPG & I have a wedding to attend on Saturday evening with an Open Bar. Apparently, alcohol also helps lower your inhibitions while at the same time increasing fertility..... so I've heard.
MySpace Countdowns
Consider this your Public Service Announcement.
I may have mentioned in an earlier post how the time has now come for the Guru's to spread our evil seed and once again reproduce. Yeah, as if GG wasn't enough evil offspring for this world.....we have chosen to offer you ..... yet another.
The Pepsi Guy & I have recently become aware that not every one plans out the pregnancies using such tools available like ovulation calendars, the internet or what ever else people plan with. You mean to tell me that people just get pregnant with out even trying.... or planning?!?!?! Okay, that's a joke but the reaction to planning such an event is often the same.
I like to make list, follow schedules, be prepared and these things alone take up a large part of my day but most importantly, they make happy. I'm also 30 now & I've waited long enough to do the family thing and I'm less likely to stall longer if I "add it to my list".
While we planned our pregnancy with GG, we used the ovulation calendar and experienced conception our first month of trying. We planned almost exactly when we wanted to have a baby & then she popped out & we were prepared because we planned. TPG & I both felt strongly about waiting until she was 2 yrs. old before we planned for a second child. Now, because GG can be and usually is such an asshole, I have reconsidered this thought many times. It just so happens to be that I am extremely fertile the weekend of her birthday, which is only days away. We have come to the conclusion that #2 has to be laid back and mellow or else it will be the death of me...... or God really hates me for having more children because one on them will probably be a theorist or something.
TPG & I have a wedding to attend on Saturday evening with an Open Bar. Apparently, alcohol also helps lower your inhibitions while at the same time increasing fertility..... so I've heard.
MySpace Countdowns
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