Oh Crap.....

What the hell has this place turned into? A zoo.....a fucking petting zoo, I tell you!

GG is celebrating her 3rd birthday on Monday. Her party is this Saturday....and unlike last year....I just don't even really give a shit if people come or not and it's definitely not the spectacle it's been in the past.....but I'm sure it'll be her best one yet.

The Kid Sister decided it would be a wonderful idea to get GG another pet. Not as if a large dog, 3 cats and 3 enormous sized gold fish are enough for any household....why not add a few more. Kid Sister called me today to tell me that one of the two frogs she bought GG for her birthday had already died. She wanted to come by and drop the survivor off in the fish tank. I was worried that fish would eat him in just a few seconds....but so far so good & it's already been a whole day.

I thought it was a little strange when I noticed Kid Sister packing GG up and getting ready to make a run for it! I questioned where they were going but she was clearly trying to dodge the question by stating they'd be back shortly. I didn't realize until after they were gone....that they were up to no good.

Upon their return......GG was completely ECSTATIC!!! And that's an understatement! She is now the proud owner of a hamster. GREAT! A fucking hamster! She named him herself...."Hammy"...at least that's what I think she's calling it.

Hammy did make it through the first night with minimal stress. However, I did catch Lennie aka GG trying to sneak him out of the cage once or twice for a quick pet. It should be interesting to see how the cats react to Hammy when they finally realize that he's sticking around for a while.

Meet Maggie.....

Maggie Mae "Guru" aka..... Maggie Moose.

"Moose" has been our beloved pet for the past 10 years. She is an old 85lb. hound/coon dog and we've converted her into a city slicker. She still has some of her own breed (whatever that may be) characteristics like incredible super hero smelling powers, insatiable appetite, stubbornness and complete laziness. When someone wants to know how big she is, I'll always tell them " She the size of a 4th Grader".

The Pepsi Guy and I like to joke about how she "lives the life of luxury". Maggie was our very first experiment as being parents. I think we succeeded in giving her a life that most mutts would only dream of. She sleeps most hours of the day in OUR bed, right in between us during the night, she eats diner with us, has a nice big fenced yard that can be accessed at any time and a loving neighbor who showers her with milk bones EVERY TIME she is outside, multiple times a day.

Without a doubt, Maggie is TPG's dog. Their relationship would be sickening to most normal people and probably illegal in all 48 continental states. Our dog will greet TPG at the door with a smile....yeah, she really smiles, and he greets her with lots of hugs & kisses...usually with his mouth open because that's the way she likes it! This same dog won't even get out of bed when I come home from a long day and I practically have to force her out of bed in the morning to pee before I head to work.

GG simply adores Maggie and her name was actually one of GG's first words. Until recently, every dog we ever encountered was called a "Maggie". GG has been using her imagination more & more lately and her favorite game is to "play puppy". It's annoying cute! Unfortunately Maggie doesn't like GG nearly as much. She's actually quite annoyed all the time with this small human who has some how taken over the home she once ruled. Even though Maggie basically tries to ignore GG at all cost, she can't help but love & protect the small bully child.

It saddens me to think that Maggie will not be with us much longer. She is 10 years old now and I can see how the years have effected her large body. She just isn't as playful and spunky as she was before we brought GG home the hospital. When the day comes for Maggie Moose to pass, TPG & I will be devastated....just as I am *teary* eyed typing it out.

But for now Maggie is alive & well!!! I love this picture of GG & Maggie Moose in the back of my truck.
Look at GG's face!!!! I think Maggie farted and she got a big wiff of it. *Priceless*

Besides introducing you to Maggie, this post has ulterior motives. You see Christmas is just around the corner! I can't think of a single gift to tell Santa Claus that GG would like to have. It's no big secret that she hasn't really been that great and if TPG weren't the Fat Jolly Man himself......she probably just get a few cat turds under the tree with a 1/2 eaten candy cane.

I'm trying, with all thing festive in my heart & soul to convince TPG to let GG get a puppy for Christmas. She is the perfect age for a tiny little buddy to frolic under her feet, while running through flowering meadows in the Spring time. Can you see it? I can almost smell the flowers now! But TPG is a stubborn old goon....and he doesn't see it, or let alone smell it! *JERK* He's afraid that he'll betray Maggie and she'll live her last moments as a bitter old hag and that he'll be to blame for her misery. I told him to blame me because she doesn't even like anyway!! I told him that a puppy may be what Maggie need to get her grove back...Stella Style! I'm still working on him & I may need to bust out the reinforcements..... like lingerie or Grand Parents.

In the mean time.....do you guys have any kid friendly breed suggestion? Or stories of your own beloved pets that are aging or have passed away?