The Blackout of 2008.....

On Sunday September 14, 2008 (yeah, I know it was weeks ago) my entire region was literary swept away by gust of winds that reached 80 mph for nearly 4 hours. It was said to be the remains of Hurricane Ike winds that wrapped around, without warning and wiped out over 200,000 home of electricity....for days. That number reached 600,000 home through Ohio & Kentucky. A few of those homes are still without power today.

This article doesn't even cover the story in detail. I know that what my neighbors and town went through that week is absolutely nothing compared to the devastation that Ike caused on the coast line of Texas and Louisiana. We are 1,500 miles away and we were hit hard. It really helps you appreciate what you have and brings a community together when you can help each other out.

Our home was one of the very few that never lost power during the wind storm. Actually, only our side of the street still had electricity, while the other side had nothing for 7 days. Every single person that I know in my area, which is a lot of people lost power for at least two days. We were literally the only people I knew who still had electricity! Our lights didn't even flicker and we never lost our satellite/cable television.

So we open our home to help those less fortunate. We housed family members, cooked meals, showered, offered room in a garage fridge and most importantly....supplied coffee and Monday Night Football to those in need. The first few days weren't bad and it was a great feeling to help others. BUT.....by day FOUR, I was dreading the evenings spent once again with my squatters, whom are wonderful people. I would take the long drive home and smoke a million cigarettes while trying to mentally prepare myself for the long evening ahead.

FINALLY, power was restored and we were able to resume of normal lives once again. I realized how we take the simple things like electricity, water, gas, ice, fast food restaurants and PRIVACY for granted . Everything is effected by POWER and if/when you have it taken it away, life is primitive.

Unpaid leave of absence....

I do sincerely and deeply apologize to all of you for my "unpaid" leave of absence. Of course it's unpaid because it's not like a vacation when someone will magically start writing for me this blog for me!

K'man.......it's not you.....IT'S ME!

Here comes the milking part! I have been terribly consumed with my own personal endeavors that I've not had a moments time to share them with you. Here's what I've been up to in chronological order of events.....

• Blackout of 2008
• MySpace Mafia Wars
• Death in Family
• Mafia Wars
• GG trip to Emergency Room
• Mafia Wars

Since I've been playing Mafia Wars of MySpace (5 days), I've started to notice a pattern of negative or destructive "coincidences" happening all around me. Maybe I should check into reality again and possible take a shower sometime today!

I'll be sure to fill you in on the details of the past week or so ...... just as soon as I re-up my energy and stamina, buy a tommy gun, rob the museum and fight a rival mob.

Big Fat LOSER.....

Well, my million dollar, artificially whitened smile didn't get me the job! Which is a very important life lesson to my inspiring young future corporate-americans out there. ALWAYS show cleavage and pray to the good lord above that your future boss is a man but most importantly a pervert!

Surprisingly enough I'm not even disappointed about it. I mean sure it was my ticket back to the real corporate world, more money and something that would actually involve using my under stimulated brain cells but life goes on. I was dreading the long 30 minute drive (one way) every time I went back for an interview and that just means another hour away from GG each day. So, it was best that I ended up as #2 which you will hardly ever hear me say. When I followed up with them today, just as I told you I would, I was told they offered it to #1 and she gladly accepted.

I like to think that my starting salary was to high for them to justify and most likely exceeded the gal whom I interviewed with last. She and I were to be equal office leads, while assisting both salesmen. She admitted openly that my advanced computer skills exceeded hers and probably felt as thought I was a threat. However, it really could have been based on the fact that there is visual proof that I tend to wear helmets, or drink a little too much but probably because of my piss poor grammar and being over confident and a special Thanks to K'man over at 7 acres of heaven for pointing that out!

So charging ahead with enthusiasm, just as my geometry teacher Ms. McNaughtin always said.... I shall have far more time to spend with all of you guys!

The million dollar smile should help......

Some of my readers have been asking about the "job" update.

They said their decision will hopefully be made this week. I was debating about calling tomorrow to follow up with them about it. I have since talked myself in to doing so.

I did find out during my interview that I was 1 of 2 people selected for a final interview out of the 200+ resumes submitted. That was a pretty good feeling knowing that I did at least make it that far. However I know that my witty charm & awesome sense of humor will be an undeniable challenge for my competition. However, I do feel that if we were some what comparable with our previous work history then I could have a problem! My asking salary could have possibly been significantly higher but it was completely warrantied considering the drive and the fact that I'll actually have to do "real work".

If all else fails I'm at least hoping that the million dollar smile has a charming effect of them. You know....because I had to pay for my teeth instead of getting the new bobbies I really wanted. I mean the 2 out of 3 interviews were with women & they didn't really strike me as "boobie girls" anyway! On a lighter note.......at least the bleach is working!

Kimm "Ross Gellar" Guru

I'll be sure to keep all of you updated as to their decision.

The Grand Finale

Dear Mr. BIGWOOD,

For the past 30 years you have called me your baby sister. You have been my best friend and worst enemy. During our childhood, I was subjected to your bullying, physical and verbal abuse as well as your out right hatred towards me. Unfortunately, you have been able to carry these torturous actions over into our adult lives without facing consequences. On June 23rd I made the decision to no longer have you or your family as an active part of my life. The mental abuse and negative baggage you brought to my world were no longer worth the rare and occasional pleasant moment we seldom shared.

Due to recent events of your lies and deception, I have no choice but to eliminate you from my life completely. You know that you harbor ill feelings towards The Pepsi Guy, Good Girl and Myself and I will no longer accept the heart break you bring to their lives as well as my own. As you continue to pawn friends and family members against us, please know that we have the support of everyone in which you attempt to contaminate with your hatred. The sinister, offensive, selfish and malicious behavior you have shown against me will NOT be tolerated any longer.

You are DEAD to me.

Kimmguru

Monday...already

Good Monday morning to all of my faithful readers! I know....it's Monday and you're probably thinking....."What the Hell is she doing here.....It's Wednesday already"!

I suppose I was feeling a bit guilty about knowing in advance that our time shared together will soon be limited. You know since I GOT A FINAL INTERVIEW for that really awesome JOB I told you about last week.

Notice I said "final"? That's because I have to meet with one last person, whom will be training me for the position. It's very important for us to get along since we'll be working closely together for a few months. But seriously folks......who can't get along with someone like this?

or even this.....

I mean seriously.....I got this job in the bag!

I've often asked myself the same thing.....

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change?
They're going to see you naked anyway.


Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?
They're both dogs!

If Wile E.
Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?

Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough money?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?

If people evolved from apes,
why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses
are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, 'It's all right?' Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, 'That really hurt, why don't you watch where you're going?'

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

And my FAVORITE......
The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons are suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

I mean it.....

I have started to notice more and more that every thing TPG & I say is now being repeated by GG. I knew this day would come, it just came FASTER then we expected.

Apparently, I often say the following phrases:

• I mean it
• I see you
• Listen to me
  
• Oh Boy!

She has incorporated these phrases into her everyday conversation and sometimes it's very interesting. Especially when she combines them all together like "Oh boy, I see you! Listen to me, I mean it!" which actually happens quite a bit.....bossy little 2yr old!

The Pepsi Guy's vocabulary is a bit more graphic to say the least, especially while on the telephone with his "boyfriends". I have often asked him to watch the uses of his expletive vocabulary in front of GG. He would catch himself after the fact and I would give him the look.

Last week while cruising through the drive thru, TPG was rather anxious and loudly proclaimed "Move up Bitch". Moments later from the back seat.....guess what we heard in Slow Motion. Our hearts stopped beating for what seems like an eternity as our sweet little girl proudly announces "M O V E- I T- B I S H" (that's the reenactment in slow motion). After the awkward moment of silence and The Look, I asked TPG if he were proud of himself. I shamed him by explaining how the innocence of our sweet child is now gone.....GONE FOREVER!

It's obvious that my hard tactics have made an improvement, at least I like to think so. However, I truly know that for TPG to hear GG's profane laced potty mouth has really made an impact on his daily life. He now uses words like shoot, heck, darn and my personal favorite .... stinken!

So.....great job TPG! Keep up the good work you .... C*@k S*%&ing S@n *f @ B*%#$@H! I'm STINKEN proud of you!

Oh Hot Damn....

This is my jam.....we keeps it rockin until the a.m.

I have good reason for neglecting you the past few days. Well....it's not really a good one but I'll milk it if you let me!

Seriously, this is a post about my "Job". Yes...I have a real job even though I don't really do anything at it. Actually....I am at this said job right now....writing this blog, because I don't have a single thing to work on. I have to come in here every single weekday at 8am on the dot and not a nano-second late, to sit here and do nothing.....nothing but answer the phone a few times and "act" busy. How ridiculous is that! It's completely ridiculous because I frickin hate it! Well, I don't exactly hate it but it still kinda sucks!

My boss is extremely anal and organized. We're not just talking about the usual type of organization ...... but ..... the very fine line of OCD Organization! He's a frickin LOON when it comes to cleanliness, the way papers are stacked or how binders are labeled. He will even bust out the white glove dust check in my office to make sure I keep my area up to par. News flash to him.....I haven't dusted under my keyboard in a year!!!!! HA!! In your Face!!

You see, I once lived in the fast paced career world of "Corporate America". Hell.... I WAS CORPORATE AMERICA! I gave up a very lucrative and rewarding career as a Diamond Buyer in the Jewelry Industry shortly after I gave birth to GG. I was tried of the traveling, crazy work schedule and smoozing with the "riches". I enjoyed everything that I did and no one gave a rats ass about my dusty office! Being a Good Mama was far more important to me then any job. TPG and I decided it would good if I took a less stressful and demanding job to allow me more freedon and time to spend with GG. It worked out great because I was offered THIS JOB and I gladly accepted. There was a substantial pay cut but I get to unplug at 5pm and it's totally worth it!

Here's where the "Milking" starts.

I have been searching for a exciting new career. You see, last week was the final straw when I was publicly reprimanded for not answering ONE telephone call out of FOUR THOUSAND FIVE HUNDRED SIXTY THREE of them that managed to pass through at the exact same time. I decided at that very moment "it was my time to leave" just sort of waiving the Johnny Cash salute and walking out the door!

I actually applied for another Executive Admin. position but later found out that I was selected for an interview based on my "buying experience". It's not a buying job at all and mostly administrative to get a foot in the door but I was pretty pumped up about going back into the corporate world and actually using my brain again. I had two interviews yesterday with the company executives which lasted 2 hours total. It went really well and we even discussed salary compensation...which never happens at a first meeting. This company is fairly new (14 yrs) and has been very successful considering it's a husband/wife team who started from scratch. It's also about a 30 min trip one way from home and I wasn't sure how I would care for that after the 1st week or so. Now, I am really getting excited about the position and hope to hear back from them in a few days.

Unfortunately, if I do get the job....I'll be blogging less. I know, it's hard to do any less blogging then I already do...but I promise to try my best to stay committed to you!

Wish me luck!

It's that time of year...again

WHO DEY BITCHES!!!!!!

Well if that were an actual question the answer would righteously be ....... EVERYONE!


The Cincinnati Bengals 2008-2009 Football Season is set to begin on Sunday September 7th. Normally I wouldn't really give two shits about our beloved hometown hero's but this year....everything is different! TPG had the chance to buy season tickets due to the financial hardship of a friend.....of a friend. So we rallied the troops to gather the funds in order to get our fall football fix. However, things didn't exactly work out as planned so TPG just bought the whole damn season himself! Here's the good.....GREAT part! Being the budget savvy, entrepreneur he is....he managed to sell 6 of the 8 games he had no interest in attending ..... for a profit, while still keeping the 2 games we wanted for FREE! YEAH! FREE BENGAL TICKETS.......it's really the only way you're going to get me there anyway......FREE!!!!

Some how I also managed to get a verbal commitment from TPG to buy me some cute Ben-Gal gear for our two games. It's more contingent on him getting all of his money back and as a thank you for not killing him when he committed to buying the tickets before telling me! Besides, he didn't want me to be the only fair weather fan to wear something ridiculous ...like a clown wig....while sitting next to him in the stands.

Tonight is our final pre-season game against the Indianapolis Colts. Sorry "Crawley" but I pretty much hate the Colts any time they play the Bengals but other then that.....Peyton Manning is pretty cool and I do like his television commercials. I am strangely excited about this game tonight, even though Carson Palmer isn't playing. Maybe we'll really see how good of a team we have this year. It's probably a good thing that I'm very forgiving and pretty easy to please.

The Lake weekend.....

I've decided to not post in words about my adult weekend at the lake with The Mac's and company. Besides, you wouldn't believe me if I did! Instead, I've elected to post a few pictures and let you make up your own story.

Go for it! Give it a try & feel free to leave me a comment telling me your version.

THE END!

My Meme

I was tagged for a Meme by Jen at Jen.At.Work.

The rules;

Link the person who tagged you
Post the rules in your blog
Write 6 random things about yourself
Tag 6 people at the end of your post and link to them
Let each person you have tagged know by leaving a comment on their blog.
Let the tagger know when your entry is posted

I have thought long and hard about these random things. I'm pretty open on my blog so this was a bit of a challenge for me.

So here are my things:

1. I hate the color PURPLE!
2. I was kind of a "hippie" in high school.
3. I have a compulsive obsession with Craigslist.
4. I sign all of my Credit/Debit Card receipts KAsshole and no one has ever noticed! seriously!
5. I sometimes sniff my armpit when no one is looking.... just to see if I remembered my deodorant.
6. Every single Wednesday I order exactly the same thing for lunch at McDonald's and it cost me $3.07

Now the fun part. The people I'm tagging:

Sweetened*Taters
Sugar 'N Spice & Mostly Nice
Stodghill Says So
Ashley's Closet


I'm stopping there because I'm a "lurker" and not a commenter on the other blogs I read and I'm still new to the neighborhood & haven't made many friends. If I weren't such a raging drunken mess....I might make a few new friends.