Today's the BIG DAY.....

Handbag Planet's big online Grand Opening! They'll be giving away 1 purse every hour to celebrate! Hopefully you entered yourself in their contest and if you're like me.....you entered as many times as possible, which was something like 36 times.

What can I say? I love handbags but I LOVE FREE handbags even better!

Good Luck to everyone who entered and be sure to let me know if you win!

Hostility with urge to attack.....

I simply can not organize a single thought in my head. I feel as if every topic I'd like to write about starts bouncing around my head like a pinball machine. To solve this attention problem I've decided to give you bullet points of random subjects that lack structure and basic elements that are needed to actually understand the english language.

1. I started taking Adipex again.....which completely explains my extreme paranoia. The last time I took this doctor prescribes weight loss drug I lost 35lbs in like 4 months. Apparently I forget some of it's side effects and what I found out was fricken HILARIOUS. After reading up on adipex from my very "reliable" source called WIKIPEDIA I realized that I probably should have done my research before I started on a medication for THE THIRD TIME!

Some of the "More Common Side Effects" are listed as......

• Insomnia
• Increased blood pressure
• Irritability
• Nervousness
• Sense of well-being
• Dry mouth
• Unpleasant taste
• Clumsiness
• Confusion
• Diarrhea
• Dizziness
• Headache
• Psychosis
• Tiredness

I already suffer from most of these things on a daily bases because I am a Mom and a Wife. I really started cracking up at the "Less Common Side Effects" listed below.

• Convulsions (seizures)
• Dizziness
• Fever
• Hallucinations
• Hostility with urge to attack
• Irregular blood pressure
• Lightheadedness or fainting
• Mental depression, following a period of excitement
• Tremors, trembling or shaking
• Overactive reflexes
• Panic
• Restlessness
• Severe nausea, vomiting or diarrhea
• Stomach cramps
• Tiredness or weakness

Let's just hope I don't have any of the "Less Common" shit happen because that stuff is just whack! Especially the shit I highlighted for you. Can you imaging if all the craziness happened to me at once. I'll just leave you alone for a moment to let it all sink in.
Yeah and while you're at.......Do not take anything I said as medical advice, and do not assume I think I know what I'm talking about. Sadly, I know I do not.


2. Day 3 of Intervention has been extremely difficult for me. I've thought about MW a few times but I've been holding strong. It's insane to think about how much actual work I'm able to do in the course of a day, especially while on adipex (which is like 10X more then normal). It's even crazier to think about the crap I've been putting off. It's a wonder I'm still gainfully employed.

3. A Friend has asked me to help her out this weekend by styling her High School Daughter & her Friend's hair for their Homecoming Dance. You know...because I went to a few homecomings and that makes me totally qualified. I tried to explain to the mother that I "take pictures" and hair styling just isn't my thing....however...it didn't work. I had this terrible prediction that I'd RUIN this big event for both of them. And you know how dramatic everything is when you're a teenage girl. So, being the logical person that I am...... I recruited Kid Sister to help. You know.... because she's totally qualified too. Two moms, a college kid sister, two hysterical teenage girls, some hair spray & a few hot curling irons.....we're bound to make some magic happen. Or possibly ruin the reputation of two very pretty, very popular high school drama queens who will never forgive us and definitely never forget.


I hope you all have a great & wonderful weekend. I'll try my best to keep doing whatever it is that I do...only now at 100mph!

Intervention....Day 2.

Finally, after admitting my addiction to MySpace Mafia Wars and the negative affect it's had on all of us, I felt so relieved. I was able to really believe that I could finally get the help I needed to have a successful recovery. I had an indescribable hunger and I wanted to know what sobriety really taste like.

Would you believe it if I told you I gave it up.....COLD TURKEY? Yeah, you heard me!!!!! C-O-L-D...... T-U-R-K-E-Y!!! Yeah for me, I really did it!

I had finally reached the point in my game where I was realized that I wasn't having FUN any more. I had more weapon and cars then I could possibly use and I couldn't spend the money I earned hourly fast enough. I gave up an empire that most mafia members could only dream of. AND...I felt good about it. I did it on my terms, without looking back!

Jenni took the news hard when I told her my decision to end the addiction. The awkward silence was broken by her sobs & pleas to "hang in there" and "just a few more days". I realized that we enabled each other in this addiction and I suggested she seek help for herself. I know it's nearly impossibly for me to stay sober as long as she continues to plays behind my back.

With that being said;

Dear Jenni,
I'm here today because I love you. I can no longer sit back and watch you kill yourself with your addiction to MySpace Mafia Wars. I am asking you to get the help you need TODAY. Join me TODAY in sobriety and I promise you we can beat this disease together. If you choose to not get the help you need TODAY, I will no support you or your addiction. I will have no choice but to remove you from my top 8 friends and replaced as #9. I will no longer accept your comments or messages, unless they are regarding your treatment, recovery or sobriety.

Will you accept this gift of treatment today? I love you!

I really want to thank my blog friends and my own blog for encouraging me to do what I needed to do. I knew it was leading to nowhere and headed there real fast. I discovered my love for blogging again..... which is a true blessing. I'm really going to need something to fill the 8 hours a day of MW that I played for the past few weeks.

I'll get there....one day at a time.

A Thousand Word Thursday

Jen over at Cheaper then Therapy has started "A Thousand Word Thursday". What a great way to share your favorite pictures with all of your blogging friends.

I know , I know...... I've been a bit harsh this week with the Ugly Butts, Addiction Recovery and Hating Mr. BIGWOOD......so I decided to post a happy picture.

Good Girl, Siesta Keys Florida, April 2008

If I could only take one photograph to cherish the rest of my life as a mother. It would have to be this picture....HANDS DOWN!

Mafia Wars Intervention.....

In the past....I have confessed to you, my love for the television show Intervention. Well, my addiction hasn't gotten any better...... in fact .... I've now added a new, almost obsessive compulsive hobby to my list of thing I'll be seeking help for ....WHEN I'M READY, not when you trap me in some sort of chat room and suggest I go seek help today!

Addiction: MySpace Mafia Wars
Enablers: Work ..... because they pay me to play all day long and Jenni ..... because she may be more addicted then I am.

I believe you should be upset at the so called "DRUG" of Mafia Wars because it has affected your life negatively in the following ways;

• You can no longer count on me to write a post that may capture your interest.
• I am probably not reading your blog as I once did & if by chance I am reading them....I'm not leaving comments.
• I have distanced myself from you and we no longer have that warm fuzzy relationship we once shared.

Mafia Wars has affected MY LIFE negatively in the following ways;

• I no longer have time to blog
• I lose sleep at night dreaming about the Hitlist
• My patiences or tolerance for bullshit is non-existent
• I talk about MW at least once in every conversation
• I have secret desires to give up my life as a mother and join a real Mafia.

Everyone knows that admitting there is a problem is really the most difficult step. So, now that we have that out of the way......I gotta go bank my earnings, do some hits, smuggle some booze, and fight some rival gangs.

We'll address step 2 tomorrow. I think that step is to introduce you to MW. Not only to make my gang stronger ...... BUT...... really to help YOU understand this disease called addiction.

Unpaid leave of absence....

I do sincerely and deeply apologize to all of you for my "unpaid" leave of absence. Of course it's unpaid because it's not like a vacation when someone will magically start writing for me this blog for me!

K'man.......it's not you.....IT'S ME!

Here comes the milking part! I have been terribly consumed with my own personal endeavors that I've not had a moments time to share them with you. Here's what I've been up to in chronological order of events.....

• Blackout of 2008
• MySpace Mafia Wars
• Death in Family
• Mafia Wars
• GG trip to Emergency Room
• Mafia Wars

Since I've been playing Mafia Wars of MySpace (5 days), I've started to notice a pattern of negative or destructive "coincidences" happening all around me. Maybe I should check into reality again and possible take a shower sometime today!

I'll be sure to fill you in on the details of the past week or so ...... just as soon as I re-up my energy and stamina, buy a tommy gun, rob the museum and fight a rival mob.

Oh Hot Damn....

This is my jam.....we keeps it rockin until the a.m.

I have good reason for neglecting you the past few days. Well....it's not really a good one but I'll milk it if you let me!

Seriously, this is a post about my "Job". Yes...I have a real job even though I don't really do anything at it. Actually....I am at this said job right now....writing this blog, because I don't have a single thing to work on. I have to come in here every single weekday at 8am on the dot and not a nano-second late, to sit here and do nothing.....nothing but answer the phone a few times and "act" busy. How ridiculous is that! It's completely ridiculous because I frickin hate it! Well, I don't exactly hate it but it still kinda sucks!

My boss is extremely anal and organized. We're not just talking about the usual type of organization ...... but ..... the very fine line of OCD Organization! He's a frickin LOON when it comes to cleanliness, the way papers are stacked or how binders are labeled. He will even bust out the white glove dust check in my office to make sure I keep my area up to par. News flash to him.....I haven't dusted under my keyboard in a year!!!!! HA!! In your Face!!

You see, I once lived in the fast paced career world of "Corporate America". Hell.... I WAS CORPORATE AMERICA! I gave up a very lucrative and rewarding career as a Diamond Buyer in the Jewelry Industry shortly after I gave birth to GG. I was tried of the traveling, crazy work schedule and smoozing with the "riches". I enjoyed everything that I did and no one gave a rats ass about my dusty office! Being a Good Mama was far more important to me then any job. TPG and I decided it would good if I took a less stressful and demanding job to allow me more freedon and time to spend with GG. It worked out great because I was offered THIS JOB and I gladly accepted. There was a substantial pay cut but I get to unplug at 5pm and it's totally worth it!

Here's where the "Milking" starts.

I have been searching for a exciting new career. You see, last week was the final straw when I was publicly reprimanded for not answering ONE telephone call out of FOUR THOUSAND FIVE HUNDRED SIXTY THREE of them that managed to pass through at the exact same time. I decided at that very moment "it was my time to leave" just sort of waiving the Johnny Cash salute and walking out the door!

I actually applied for another Executive Admin. position but later found out that I was selected for an interview based on my "buying experience". It's not a buying job at all and mostly administrative to get a foot in the door but I was pretty pumped up about going back into the corporate world and actually using my brain again. I had two interviews yesterday with the company executives which lasted 2 hours total. It went really well and we even discussed salary compensation...which never happens at a first meeting. This company is fairly new (14 yrs) and has been very successful considering it's a husband/wife team who started from scratch. It's also about a 30 min trip one way from home and I wasn't sure how I would care for that after the 1st week or so. Now, I am really getting excited about the position and hope to hear back from them in a few days.

Unfortunately, if I do get the job....I'll be blogging less. I know, it's hard to do any less blogging then I already do...but I promise to try my best to stay committed to you!

Wish me luck!

My Meme

I was tagged for a Meme by Jen at Jen.At.Work.

The rules;

Link the person who tagged you
Post the rules in your blog
Write 6 random things about yourself
Tag 6 people at the end of your post and link to them
Let each person you have tagged know by leaving a comment on their blog.
Let the tagger know when your entry is posted

I have thought long and hard about these random things. I'm pretty open on my blog so this was a bit of a challenge for me.

So here are my things:

1. I hate the color PURPLE!
2. I was kind of a "hippie" in high school.
3. I have a compulsive obsession with Craigslist.
4. I sign all of my Credit/Debit Card receipts KAsshole and no one has ever noticed! seriously!
5. I sometimes sniff my armpit when no one is looking.... just to see if I remembered my deodorant.
6. Every single Wednesday I order exactly the same thing for lunch at McDonald's and it cost me $3.07

Now the fun part. The people I'm tagging:

Sweetened*Taters
Sugar 'N Spice & Mostly Nice
Stodghill Says So
Ashley's Closet


I'm stopping there because I'm a "lurker" and not a commenter on the other blogs I read and I'm still new to the neighborhood & haven't made many friends. If I weren't such a raging drunken mess....I might make a few new friends.

I really do.....

Have a ton of things to tell you. Unfortunately I'm off to the dentist....again.

I've already paid him all that money, so I talked him into bleaching my teeth too. Not for free but at a great 75% discount! So....once again, The Dentist is FUN!!!! Besides, I have to get me teeth pearly white before I get "Knocked Up" again.....or else I really might just turn into a Woolsie!

One day....we shall meet again, My Love!

I was shopping last night at our local "Meijer" store to pick up a few items for our trip to the Lake this weekend. I suddenly came across the most amazing thing that has ever caught my eye. My attention was drawn to the rack like a child hearing the music of an ice cream truck on a hot summer day!

It was love at first sight! However, I did find the courage & will power to not proceed in purchasing the most unbelievable item I'd ever seen! Not because I didn't WANT too but because of the size selection available. I was fortunate enough to have my camera on me at the time and snap this photo before security escorted my out of the store. You know how those rent-a-cops take their jobs very seriously. I personally believe they thought I worked for their competitor and was on some sort of espionage reconnaissance mission.

Here is the extraordinary find!

I was disappointed that the smallest size available was a 2XL, which did DELAY my purchase at that time. I also felt discriminated against, getting the feeling that apparently only women of larger stature can be considered a goddess to my very public love affair of Garage Sales! I have now spent countless......minutes scowering the internet in search of this very much desired item.....in a size medium! This has also lead me to believe that I may have a small obsession with garage sales and thankfully not flea markets. I can not commit to nurturing an obsession that continues all year long. You see garage sales are seasonal ...............and that has made all the difference!

I need an intervention for INTERVENTION

At least that's what The Pepsi Guy told me yesterday when I prepared to watch the 5 "surprise" episodes I found on our DVR! I call them "surprise" episodes because they magically appeared overnight for my Sunday viewing pleasure. It was like I had won a free bonus gift from the Lancome counter, or better yet, the Ohio Lottery (which is usually millions & millions of dollars).

The anticipation of my favorite documentary series "Intervention" on A&E is often more then I can handle for a Monday evening. I first realized there could be a problem/"addiction" (as they would say) when a few weeks ago......Memorial Day to be exact, when the show didn't air & I almost lost my ever-loving mind! Now if you personally know me, this is probably very hard for you to understand because prior to owning DVR I basically watched ZERO television for myself, unless you include Noggin or Spongebob which I do sometimes enjoy. I've also been known to included Cash Cab on Discovery Channel to my short list of DVR viewings, which also drives TPG completely insane but that's another blog. Using my basic Intervention knowledge and being the detailed list maker that I am, I can justify why I am an "addict".

• The emotional high I feel by watching their personal struggles. I laugh, I cry, I get extremely angry....especially when children are involved, I feel overwhelming grief & a sense that I can actually help these crazies.
• I feel like an Adult when I watch these episodes because GG is peacefully sleeping in her bed & I have a few moments of uninterrupted television with control over the remote.
• It just makes me feel better about myself & my life and I suppose I feel blessed that I am just not that fucked up after all!

You see people who have addiction and not just the drug kind either, all feel many of those same emotions. I'll admit now that I may be in denial now about my "Intervention" needs but when it starts to interfere with my daily life & I quit doing the things I need to be doing....like changing baby diapers, then please call 1-800-662-HELP and let them read this post. I'm sure they'll know exactly what to with My Kind!
In the meanwhile here is a show schedule for the upcoming season, which starts June 16th, 2008.

Season 4 YEAH........I can't WAIT!!!!!!!